The Metamorphosis Alternate Ending

Gregor awoke the next day in the dumpster outside his family’s house. No longer burdening his family, he decided to fulfill his destiny as a cockroach. His first priority was to remove the apple that had become lodged into the abdomen of his inflamed body. While surgically removing the apply, the vet advised Gregor to move to a more tropical climate to help with the healing process. Mexico sounded like the perfect place to Gregor. He found a dark shack to start living “la vida loca”. Finding a graveyard shift at the local cemetery provided Gregor with the best income without exposing his grotesque figure. While scurrying to work for the first time Gregor met a few other bacteria and protozoa who gave him directions to the local cocina for a snack after he finished his work. On the way, he made sure to avoid wasps centipedes and especially the pest control. Fearing their presence around him, Gregor used his newfound speed to hurry back to his burrow at the shack. Someone had tossed a half drank cerveza to the curb next to his shack and Gregor found himself finishing it off.

After finishing his beer, Gregor realized his legs were once again too heavy to maneuver and he began stumbling to the graveyard. Feeling lost, he proceeded to ask other locals for directions, but to he could not understand what the locals were saying. A sick man named Roger Asmas on his way to the drug store noticed Gregor. He took Gregor with him to use for medicinal purposes. The man pulled out his axe, Gregor was frozen in place, unable to move as the axe came tumbling down. Gregor’s head came tumbling off, but unbeknownst to the man, Gregor was still very much alive. The man placed Gregor in a pot of boiling water where he then experienced a long and painful death. The boiled remnants of Gregor were mulched up into a cold glass of horchata which was then consumed by Roger to heal his sickness.

(Read first paragraph of “The Metamorphosis”, substituting the name Roger Asmas for Gregor Sasma.